How to Get What You Really Want

Are you one of those people who settle for second best? Looking for the secret to get what you really want. Look no further, I have the answer and so do you.  Ready, it is four simple words “Just ask for it”.  Sounds simple enough, so why is it that you don’t just do it?  I have the answer to that one too. Fear…

People are afraid of what other people think about them, it is natural. It is that little switch inside your head that shuts down even though you have what you want all framed out in your mind.  In the early days this switch hindered my career as potential clients closed doors in my face and slammed the phone down as they muttered obscenities under their breath.  As humbling as those experiences were, they didn’t pay the bills.

It really wasn’t until my wife was pregnant with my first child that it really hit me.  This world was going to swallow up my little family if I didn’t make a change.  I didn’t want to live my life always looking at what the next guy had, wondering why I couldn’t have it.  I didn’t want to walk into my office another day and walk out a loser.

I began tinkering with my internal switch, testing the waters little by little. I entrenched myself in the psychology of decision making and toyed around with pushing the limits of people’s emotions.   Sounds complicated… it’s not.

Here is my brief road map:

  • I spent my first few weeks telling myself while it is important that I maintain my integrity at the end of the day I can’t take anything personal.
  • I decided to cut the fluff; if you are a client of mine you already know what you see is what you get.  I don’t pretend to be anything or anyone other than myself.
  • I took the word “no” out of my vocabulary, when others said it meant nothing to me.  I learned how to craft clarifying questions and responses that get to the one word I understood “YES”
  • I stopped allowing people to walk all over me.  Starting with the people I did business with, I would not accept mediocre service or anything less than respect.  I also let others know that my time is just as important as theirs.  I wouldn’t be reaching out to someone I thought was a waste of time.
  • I negotiated everything and I mean everything. If I saw a way to get something I wanted for less I did it. I had thousands of conversations with the wrong people and NEVER lost a case.  I knew the right person would eventually give me what I wanted.  I did this so much that friends now turn to me when they have a dispute over something, trust me as you get closer to flipping that switch off permanently this exercise will have an impact on your life.
  • I became the great debater; I intentionally argued points of view that I had little passion for until I persuaded my opponent that my point was right. My point here is that if you feel strongly about something or nothing for that matter; you maintain control of the situation.  While this is no easy task it will leave the other person second guessing their position and it will build your inner courage.
  • I never ever let someone devalue me. Not one single other person on this earth was created any different than I was. I don’t care where you went to school, what kind of car your drive or what your position in life is. Save it, if we are in the same room together you are no better than me.  This is a process of intimidation, if someone doesn’t feel at ease with you they are threatened by you. I never ever show my hand, I just let the idiots around me play their game.

The point of this story isn’t to toss you off the deep end.  It is to help you to create magnetism and to mold your charisma. Trust me; I was that guy that used to say easier said than done. Then I did it, at the end of the day people can say what they want, it doesn’t matter to me as long as I know how to get what I want.

Give my roadmap a try, reply to this post with your thoughts or successes.  If you want to talk more about getting what you really want email me tom@tommorganelli.com